What I wrote earlier. It is the precursor to a really messed up night. It is 10:40 pm and the noise is so god-damned bad. It echoes inside my cranium.
I am so fucked.
Don't know what I will do but guess I will just gut it out as long as I can and then quit. I do not know what that means, except as an abstruse abstraction.
My apologies, when the time comes, to anyone and everyone whom I shall hurt or cause annoyance by interrupting his/her daily life. It will come, barring some miracle that I, after 20 yrs of this bull shit, cannot imagine or foresee.
Shit happens, folks. Deal with it. I have had to do so for nearly 21 yrs, now. I am only angry at myself no one else.
I swore I would figure life out. I think I may have, but I am unable to do a freaking thing with the knowledge I have gained. Cannot even pass it on to my daughter. Messed that up too.
OOPs, I am getting into whining. Gotta go.
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