The Shit, T.S., is really bad tonight and parts of today. It takes so much away from me regarding my ability to think and to create anything. It more and more eats the essence of who I am or at least who I want to be. The kim chee is so deep right now that I would sell my soul if there was someone whom to sell it to. I can keep puttering along and I shall but when I wake up after a couple hours of sleep with the noise intensity up to F16 afterburner level I just want to scream.
I have no idea what is going to happen to me but it don't look pretty and I would rather not be me for the rest of my life unless some amazing thing happens to give me some relief.
Writing this is meaningless but what the hey/hay? It is something to do and a place to talk to about my feelings of self-pity, isolation, and increasing desolation. I believe: SHIT HAPPENS, but it sure sucks when one has to deal with it for such a long period of time. The slow rot literally and figuratively "stinks."
The Moose Is Loose
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