Honestly

Honestly, I feel awful.  The shrieking inside the cranium is seemingly of epic proportions but the epic is intensifying at a rate not attained previously.  I am in hell hole and can't get out.  The problems are:  1.  It takes so little to make my ears ring worse and they do.  2.  I slept 4 hours three nights ago, 3 hours two nights ago and 5.5 last night.  I awoke to such a clatter; I knew what was the matter and could only arise and busy myself to try not to think about it.  It is building since I awoke.

Now ain't that just a crappy thing for someone to read.  I wish for the Mack truck in the night but dreaming for a truck won't do the job.  Life is simply a nightmare on Virgo Drive and will only get worse.  I have to pull off life until 5 June, after Kent gets home from his vacation with Liz. 
But then it is only 3 weeks before Judy leaves for HI and Japan and the whole family goes to Japan.  Malia goes to see Nate.  And then Judy is gone for a month.

and then Judy goes to China with Sharon.
and there is thing with Nate still in Japan until September.

I do not want to mess with
anyone else,s  plans, but living people always have plans.

My tongue is chronically sore, now.  I have bruxed the teeth so much that there is diminished space for my tongue.  It is gray where it should be pink so I tend to it regularly.  It is sore so I try to leave my teeth apart.  The night splint I made leaves my teeth tender so will have to get a new one. 

Oh, the crap that will happen in the last days / weeks of my life.  Will be doing it alone with people around.  I surely will be thought weak but I guess I cannot change perceptions in my condition.  If I put my stuff inside other's brains for just a minute they would think it was horrid.  Try living it 24/7.

I am done pissing and moaning for today.  I simply wish I were not living this life but I am.  Bye, bye.  Buy bonds.