Today is so stinko. I feel all alone, my head is lit up a bonfire in the dark. Weird metaphor, isn't it. Cannot think of anything else. This morning I thought I might go crazy, I wanted to run away from my head, haven't felt like that in a long time. The "shit" gave me cold chills and just a whole body craziness that I could never explain. I am so lost, so depressed to put it in plain English. Cannot explain a thing about how I feel. I really would like to end it all so I could stop feeling like this, and I know it will get worse. I wish it would get intolerable right now so I could just go away. I want to talk to someone, anyone, everyone and share my life and help someone and do some good for someone. Everything I do sets my brain into even worse screaming and screeching and shrieking and it makes that power line sensation go through my brain. I am overstimulated, I think, by the noise. It has set every nerve alight. That is the fire. Cannot relax, cannot do anything. I just want to get a release and let it "explode into space" (song from Easy Rider). I wish I could die or feel better but I shall merely go up and down and gradually or rapidly get worse. Oh, woe is me.
I feel so crappy I basically told a christian on FaceBook to go Hell, not in those words.
This is not right.
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